Standards

Most people have filters they put on life. They look around and see what they want to see. Expectations are put on everything.If they don't live up to what we want them to be, those things might as well not exist. They are ignored and even shunned. We do this to everything. Movies, music, products, and even people are all subjected to our "filters". I think one of the worst forms of these expectations, is when we change our filters and then deny things or people we once loved.

Thinking about this has made me really look inside myself. I started to think about what I had unreasonable expectations on and I understood that in some cases expectations are good. We have to hold some things to a higher standard. The tricky thing is doing this with out getting on a high horse and hurting the people we love.

So As I thought about this, I realized that I had a lot of expectations on the people and things around me but not a whole lot on myself. How hypocritical is that? I considered the effects of holding myself to a higher standard. You have to be careful with this one too. For example is you decided you were going to run 20 miles a day after not running in months, you would end up disappointed.

Putting expectations on yourself works differently. It's a lot more goal oriented. You have to see what you want to become and start doing what it takes to get there. If you want to be a nicer person you have to go out and start being nice, but do you think your going to forget all of your negative thoughts over night? NO! You have to fake it till you make it! You have to retrain your mind.

Now that we are considering the standards we hold to ourselves, does it make you think about how you see the world? Maybe we can ease up a bit on somethings. We can all be more accepting, supportive, and understanding. All we are doing is cutting down on our personal pride. That means we have to see that we are people just like everyone else.

A healthier view on this topic can do a lot for a person. Taking a step back and looking inside myself has helped me make new friends and start to be more of a helpful and understanding person. It has done nothing but good for me and I know it will do the same for anyone who gives it a try. Just remember if your not going forward, you are going backwards. So what are you waiting for? No one can change you but you.

Living What You Love

What do you love to do? Every one has something that inspires them and invigorates their creativity. Really! What is "that thing" that you love? Look inside yourself and find it. Really look! It is there! I have finally found what drives me. What I love to do. Simply put, it enriches my life. On the flip side neglecting it made me feel empty.

We all know how it feels to wake up and wonder "what will I do today?", then we think "wow. My life is drab. I literally have nothing to do." You feel as if something is missing from your life. There is a hunger somewhere inside of you but you can't quite place it. Sometimes it is so starved we forget about it.

We have good reason to feel starved. That is the feeling of you neglecting yourself. We think for whatever reason that we can't do what we love. We tell ourselves things like, "people wont think I'm any good." or " I don't have time." That is not true at all.

People look up to someone who does what they love. It's inspiring. When you have that kind of passion behind what you are doing it does not go unnoticed! Sure you might not be the best. Maybe some people say your no good, but really what does it matter? I am someone who has let myself be affected by words. People would say well your OK...but it's not like you could be a professional or something. To me this hurt more than people who said I just plain sucked!
Recently I have found that I was listening to the people around me too much when it came to my dreams. They are MY dreams. They should come from me! I had become what people wanted me to be and it was killing me. I was a boring robot. I had little to no traces of life, but I didn't just have to overcome the people around me. I had to overcome myself!

We all have fears. We have things we tell ourselves about the things we do. I had let this self defeatist in me win out many times. Recently I have found the best way that I can beat it. It is so simple that it was overlooked. Focus on what you want to do, not the fear, then just do it. Take it on faith.

Personally I'm tired of ignoring what I love. Everyone else can live for other people, but not me! I'm going to live for my dreams. I'm going to do what I love to do and I'm not going to care what people think. What is the point of life if we don't do what makes us come alive! I invite every one to take some time and think about what they love to do. Then take the steps to start doing it today! It will change your life.

I'm Ben Duncan and I'm a writer.