It's Just Like Weight Lifting But With Your Brain!

In the gym I have learned many life lessons. Working out is a lot more than a male bonding time where we talk about girls and bask in our own testosterone. Lets just set aside the "good game" man booty taps and be adults about this.  Working out is about breaking your own limits. It is about going on when everything inside of you is screaming at you to stop. You have to learn to use your mind to conquer your body and you learn when things get hard you don't quit, you push harder!

In life we hit many road blocks and, just like running on a treadmill, we start to hear a voice in our head telling us to quit now before this gets to hard. For me I know there is always going to be that voice inside my head telling me I can't do it. The great thing about working out is you learn to tell that voice to shut the heck up! Now if you apply this to real life it can be very handy.

Let's say you are looking for a job. You are trying really hard. You get out there every day and you are not seeing results. That voice is going to speak up. It might tell you something like, "You are wasting your time. Clearly no one wants to hire you." Right when that voice speaks up you are given a choice.


To give up or not to give up?

That is the question. Our minds are powerful tools. If we can learn to use them, we can bend how we act and think anyway we like. When that voice speaks up you are more than able to tell it to get back in its place. Go Mob boss on it. Take that negative voice and bust its knee caps! I believe golf clubs are on sale this time of year. Nothing is stopping you from getting rid of the negative in your life but you. It is a matter of perspective and you can change yours.

The great thing about change is once you adjust it is like things had always been that way. Then you can take a step back and see how you can get to the next level. Always pushing your limits. Just like working out if we want to better ourselves we have to carry on. We have to do things everyday to push towards our goal.

At Golds Gym they have a poster I really like. It says "Know that commitment is a muscle." That is so true. Just like a muscle, commitment is something you have to work daily for it to get any better. You have to train yourself to commit. When you get to where you want to be, you can't just stop, you have to maintain it. Your learned commitment is what drives you.

Alright class lets review! We all hit that point where we want to quit. This not only happens in they gym, but in all areas of life. I ask all of you to recognize that we all make a choice when we quit. It is hard to keep going but the more you chose to take the hard road of never giving up, the more it will come naturally. Another good thing to remember is you can't start out lifting hundreds of pounds so lets win those small battles first!  Last but not least, although they are present, gyms are not all about gay undertones! (Was that to defensive?)

Living What You Love

What do you love to do? Every one has something that inspires them and invigorates their creativity. Really! What is "that thing" that you love? Look inside yourself and find it. Really look! It is there! I have finally found what drives me. What I love to do. Simply put, it enriches my life. On the flip side neglecting it made me feel empty.

We all know how it feels to wake up and wonder "what will I do today?", then we think "wow. My life is drab. I literally have nothing to do." You feel as if something is missing from your life. There is a hunger somewhere inside of you but you can't quite place it. Sometimes it is so starved we forget about it.

We have good reason to feel starved. That is the feeling of you neglecting yourself. We think for whatever reason that we can't do what we love. We tell ourselves things like, "people wont think I'm any good." or " I don't have time." That is not true at all.

People look up to someone who does what they love. It's inspiring. When you have that kind of passion behind what you are doing it does not go unnoticed! Sure you might not be the best. Maybe some people say your no good, but really what does it matter? I am someone who has let myself be affected by words. People would say well your OK...but it's not like you could be a professional or something. To me this hurt more than people who said I just plain sucked!
Recently I have found that I was listening to the people around me too much when it came to my dreams. They are MY dreams. They should come from me! I had become what people wanted me to be and it was killing me. I was a boring robot. I had little to no traces of life, but I didn't just have to overcome the people around me. I had to overcome myself!

We all have fears. We have things we tell ourselves about the things we do. I had let this self defeatist in me win out many times. Recently I have found the best way that I can beat it. It is so simple that it was overlooked. Focus on what you want to do, not the fear, then just do it. Take it on faith.

Personally I'm tired of ignoring what I love. Everyone else can live for other people, but not me! I'm going to live for my dreams. I'm going to do what I love to do and I'm not going to care what people think. What is the point of life if we don't do what makes us come alive! I invite every one to take some time and think about what they love to do. Then take the steps to start doing it today! It will change your life.

I'm Ben Duncan and I'm a writer.

Music: The Rhythm of Life

I used to be horrible at sports. So bad it was embarrassing. I was the kid that got picked last. I sucked more then a vacuum. After games I wondered if I would ever be good at sports. Inevitably I gave up and decided to take a different route. Music. Now with seven, going on eight, years of drumming under my belt I have a new view on how important music is.

Soon after getting my first drum set I started to notice some changes. It wasn't like I woke up one day and I was mega awesome, but more gradual. My first noticeable change happened at a church baseball game. There was all types of people there. The dads who take things to seriously, kids staring off into space, and me the kid who would rather it rained so I didn't have to blow it in front of girls!

 Before I knew it I was up to bat. I walked up to the plate anticipating the strike out to come. Next thing I know the ball is coming right down the middle. Mostly for show, I took my swing. To my surprise I nailed the thing. BLASTED IT! All the way past the pitchers mound! I was so shocked I almost forgot to run to first. After that game I realized it was because I had been playing drums that I was better at baseball.

Sure playing the drums gives you better coordination which is a big help, but there was something else. I could feel the flow of things. The unnoticed rhythm of everything around me. I could find the music in making a sandwich! It was like gaining a sixth sense, but with less dead Bruce Willis. Suddenly I was better at everything. I'm not the best still to this day but I had huge gains.

It wasn't only baseball. I could dance better. I could sing better. I could even talk to girls better. I could ride my bike with no handle bars! It's all because I could feel the flow of things. Like playing drums in a band I could see what was coming next and adjust accordingly. 

Because of this I have a new view on music. Its not just hitting drums and strumming guitars. It is an audible version of the natural flow that can be found in every day life. In my opinion  music is part of understanding the world around us. It is as important as writing and arithmetic if not more important! 

Music is bigger than we think. It is the heart beat of all life and it is in everything we do. So make like a river and flow.

This is something I believe in but I also know that there are many ways to view life. Feel free to comment and share things in your life that have influenced the way you view things. 

A Skeleton in the Closet

My life....wow, my life! It has been a bumpy road lately. Lots of ups and downs. Recently more downs. Hmm where to begin. Well I had let myself go. I wasn't living up to my own  standards. I was living a life and becoming a person I did not want to be. In turn it was hurting the people around me and hurting me a lot! So I moved away from Utah and back home to Illinois, getting away from all of it.

 I was trying to make things better. Things did get better for the people back in Utah, but not for me. I was suddenly starved for the good things about Utah that I missed. All of the dark times nearly forgotten. The problem was I wasn't better at all. I was still not living up to my own standards. In Illinois, I had no friends at all. None. That's no exaggeration. I missed everyone in Utah so much! I sank into a depression. It was all pity parties and feeling sorry for myself. Not a good time at all. I spent most nights crying. I worked sun up to sundown. Then at night I worked more. All I could think of was Utah.

Then one day I snapped. All that working had been on my own business. I was almost ready to launch it. So much money and support was put behind me. That day I got in my car and left behind the biggest opportunity ever presented to me. I burned bridges with my family. The crazy thing is I thought it was the right thing to do. I told myself it was just going to be a few days. Then I would come back!

That is not what happened at all. I got to Utah. My parents were already pretty mad. They, in their anger, had disowned me. The friend who I came back for, Who is a girl if you haven't guessed, welcomed me with opened arms, but something wasn't right.

We had made a deal. I went home for a reason. Even though she missed me, our relationship couldn't last on that alone. Things started to die. "I love you" turned into "I can't do this anymore". I braced for the end, but in my desperation, I felt like she was all I had. I held on.

So here we are. After all this living out a normal day is hard. Every so often I call my friend only to find that she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I'm blocked from her life. I'm a memory. A skeleton in the closet. Now that I look back on what I did, I see that I made the wrong choice. I should have continued to work on my business. At this point I would have had much success. I'd be debt free and on my way to a better life.

Now I face the trial of putting this behind me. Everything I see reminds me of her. How can I beat this? Some words of wisdom come to mind. A good friend told me she always tells herself "ok, you can do this. You have done hard things before". Also I'm trying to depend more on God. I have to let him heal me. Some things are hard to let go, but I have to walk this hard road now. I have to overcome against all odds.

I have no other choice. I wont go down as a skeleton in her closet.