Standards

Most people have filters they put on life. They look around and see what they want to see. Expectations are put on everything.If they don't live up to what we want them to be, those things might as well not exist. They are ignored and even shunned. We do this to everything. Movies, music, products, and even people are all subjected to our "filters". I think one of the worst forms of these expectations, is when we change our filters and then deny things or people we once loved.

Thinking about this has made me really look inside myself. I started to think about what I had unreasonable expectations on and I understood that in some cases expectations are good. We have to hold some things to a higher standard. The tricky thing is doing this with out getting on a high horse and hurting the people we love.

So As I thought about this, I realized that I had a lot of expectations on the people and things around me but not a whole lot on myself. How hypocritical is that? I considered the effects of holding myself to a higher standard. You have to be careful with this one too. For example is you decided you were going to run 20 miles a day after not running in months, you would end up disappointed.

Putting expectations on yourself works differently. It's a lot more goal oriented. You have to see what you want to become and start doing what it takes to get there. If you want to be a nicer person you have to go out and start being nice, but do you think your going to forget all of your negative thoughts over night? NO! You have to fake it till you make it! You have to retrain your mind.

Now that we are considering the standards we hold to ourselves, does it make you think about how you see the world? Maybe we can ease up a bit on somethings. We can all be more accepting, supportive, and understanding. All we are doing is cutting down on our personal pride. That means we have to see that we are people just like everyone else.

A healthier view on this topic can do a lot for a person. Taking a step back and looking inside myself has helped me make new friends and start to be more of a helpful and understanding person. It has done nothing but good for me and I know it will do the same for anyone who gives it a try. Just remember if your not going forward, you are going backwards. So what are you waiting for? No one can change you but you.

Holding On to An Idea

What does could be even mean? I have gone through my life thinking of what I could be. In many ways it has been dangerous. I would look inside myself and see my potential. I would see what I could be. It "could be" very real. I "could be" successful and well known. I "could be" someones best friend. I "could be" the love of someones life.

The thing is that I would project this image of my own potential, or the potential of a particular relationship or opportunity, and it would become so real to me. I would focus on it, but not in a healthy way. It's like I wanted to wake up one day and be "that guy".  I saw this future that was so unrealistic for one major reason.  I didn't want to work on myself to get there.

I have realized that I have this sense of entitlement, like I should be able to have this stuff or be with this girl. I'm a good guy right? Sure I am, but am I a fighter? No. I'm a coward. I don't fight for what I believe in. I sit back and let life happen. Then I wonder why it didn't happen the way I wanted. I'm huddled in the dark, not knowing how to get out. The only "thing" I have is this idea of what I think my life should be. I have no goals. I have no standards. I have no  idea how to get where I need to go. Not because I don't know what I need to do, but because something in my head is telling me "I'm already here".

I share this thought because it has opened my eyes to something important. I'm not unhappy with my life because I just got dumped or I don't make enough money. I'm not unhappy with my life because I've given up on so many things. I'm unhappy with my life because I'm living on an idea. I'm unhappy with my life because I'm not grounded in real things. I need real goals. I need real purpose. I need to stop thinking things will just happen.

Well everyone this world can be harsh and unforgiving, but we can make it beautiful. It's ok to have your head in the clouds as long as your feet are firmly planted on the ground. So don't stop dreaming. Stop thinking you should be there already. I guess what I'm trying to say is don't forget why you are doing something, but never forget you have to do something to get there.