Relationships: A Plane Crash Can Be A Life Saver!

Sometimes you see beauty in a run down old building and sometimes you are livid that the laminate is peeling off your shopping card. Some times the little things are a light mist. Other times they are an impassable asteroid field. Sometimes you love everyone. Sometimes you hate yourself.

We are in an ever changing world. It moves so quickly sometimes it's hard to keep up with. One day you have it all figured out. Right when you are comfortable, one change puts you into a nose dive straight down to earth and you scramble for the eject button. Scrambling around the cockpit, all you can think of is how did this happen?

We don't always find the eject button. Just like we don't always have a second chance with the people whose paths we cross in this life. Maybe you just burned a bridge that can never be rebuilt. You severed the last tie. Goodbyes are hard but I never want to see or talk to you again is much worse.

We can not always control the outcome of our relationships, intimate or not, but we can try to get out with the least amount of damage. Going down with the ship takes its tolls on you. Pain turns into agony. A lost friend turns into a lost group of friends. Heart break turns into death wishes.

On the bright side you don't always have to burn up in a big ball of glorious fire and explosions and you don't always have to watch it happening while you parachute to the ground. Sometimes you recover. That nose dive may give you just the momentum you need to pull right back into the swing of things. Only wisdom can tell you what the outcome will be. You have to crash a few planes before you know a lost cause from a gleam of hope.

This post is to every one who has burned a bridge with a friend, family member, or a lover. When you are at the scene of the crash everything looks grim, but what you learned on the way down is priceless. Next time the knowledge you gained will help you more than you know. Maybe you needed to fail now to turn around a lost cause later.



The Lovers Crash

In the case of an intimate relationship, "Plane Crashes" are a natural occurrence. The more you fall the more you see why things don't work out. You also start to see the qualities you don't mesh with. I know that every one of my relationships gets better every time and it is because every time I learn how I can be better and I learn about what type of person I don't really get along with. It is all about seeing things clearly and objectively. Relationships are a big, sucky process of elimination that we are all hooked on like a bunch of  needle shooting junkies. We are all chasing that next "high".

The romantic in me wants to relate relationships to a phoenix, we die in a ball of fire just to rise, anew, from the ashes. Still shaking off the ashes, we are back in the game. I love the game of finding a new love, but it is a hard game. You gotta expect to lose some battles and you have to know when to attract rather than pursue. Some times you need to be happy being you before you can be happy with some one else. That is the lesson I'm learning from my last crash. Relationships are not about being happy with someone. They are about being happy enough with yourself that you have plenty to share. Being a guy all I need is someone to ride shotgun with me. Someone to be along for the ride.

I have found that girls really want relationships to be structured like that. If the woman in your life doesn't feel like your taking her anywhere, the sparks you had are gonna die fast. Am I right ladies? So guys, do something with yourself. If you live for the next girl your going to be looking for the next girl more often than you would like.

I'm sorry that this seems one sided but here is my attempt at helping the single ladies out there. All of that playing hard to get stuff can be fun, but you have to give us something! If we are not getting the hint it's not shameful to help us out a little! Trust me! When a guy likes a girl, hints are over processed and all meaning is sucked out and/or disputed to the point of irrelevance. Make note of this!

All of this relationship talk has made me want to find a date. I must be on my way!

P.S.  All of you ladies out there, feel free to add some comments for a more feminine perspective on all of this!

Thanks :)

Standards

Most people have filters they put on life. They look around and see what they want to see. Expectations are put on everything.If they don't live up to what we want them to be, those things might as well not exist. They are ignored and even shunned. We do this to everything. Movies, music, products, and even people are all subjected to our "filters". I think one of the worst forms of these expectations, is when we change our filters and then deny things or people we once loved.

Thinking about this has made me really look inside myself. I started to think about what I had unreasonable expectations on and I understood that in some cases expectations are good. We have to hold some things to a higher standard. The tricky thing is doing this with out getting on a high horse and hurting the people we love.

So As I thought about this, I realized that I had a lot of expectations on the people and things around me but not a whole lot on myself. How hypocritical is that? I considered the effects of holding myself to a higher standard. You have to be careful with this one too. For example is you decided you were going to run 20 miles a day after not running in months, you would end up disappointed.

Putting expectations on yourself works differently. It's a lot more goal oriented. You have to see what you want to become and start doing what it takes to get there. If you want to be a nicer person you have to go out and start being nice, but do you think your going to forget all of your negative thoughts over night? NO! You have to fake it till you make it! You have to retrain your mind.

Now that we are considering the standards we hold to ourselves, does it make you think about how you see the world? Maybe we can ease up a bit on somethings. We can all be more accepting, supportive, and understanding. All we are doing is cutting down on our personal pride. That means we have to see that we are people just like everyone else.

A healthier view on this topic can do a lot for a person. Taking a step back and looking inside myself has helped me make new friends and start to be more of a helpful and understanding person. It has done nothing but good for me and I know it will do the same for anyone who gives it a try. Just remember if your not going forward, you are going backwards. So what are you waiting for? No one can change you but you.